On Monday [where today is Wednesday, just for a little context], I started a new job. My first full-time job, to be precise. It has been an overwhelming experience. Everyone and everything is new and I've been feeling a bit like a fish out of water.
Today during my lunch break, I went and sat out in the beautiful gardens that surround the hospital. And as I often do, I decided to chill out to some music, so I put my mp3 player on shuffle, and the song that came on was "More Than It Seems" by Kutless. The song is about Peter in Narnia, and his journey from English school-boy to the High King who leads the Narnians to defeat the White Witch.
The final line of the chorus is "I am capable of more than it seems" and it was such a comfort to me, because that is exactly how I feel, but I needed to be reminded of it. When you are new and struggling, you start to doubt yourself, your abilities and your worth. It's in that moment that you need to be reminded that God has placed you there for a reason. He has given you - or will give you - all the talents, knowledge and skills you need to fill the position he has placed you in, in a way that brings glory to Him. But first, there might be a period of learning and of frustration. The hard part is to be patient and keep trusting in God that this is where you are meant to be.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
For Life
Yesterday I went to the wedding of two Christian friends who I have known through most of my time at university. I haven't been to a lot of weddings, but yesterday I noticed something.
The popular form of the answer to the wedding vows is to say "I do". Countless wedding cards and an entire ABBA song are dedicated to this well known part of the wedding. However, the vow in both the Christian weddings I've been to this year has not been "I do", but "I will".
There's a significant difference there, when you consider what the person is promising at the moment - to love, to honour, to share a life. "I do" says "At this moment, this is what is true of my life, that I do love this person, honour this person, want to share a life with this person." It is a state of the present. But "I will" is a future tense, isn't it? It says "I am going to keep doing this, for the rest of my life, not just for as long as I feel like it."
I know I'm making a big thing out of a little difference, one that most people wouldn't even notice. But there is a difference between the world's view of marriage, and what a Christian marriage is. One is all about what is going to make you happy now, while the other is about loving one another in a way that reflects God's love - and that love is eternal and unwavering. There's much more that could be said on this topic, but I will leave that to those who know far more about love than I do :P
The popular form of the answer to the wedding vows is to say "I do". Countless wedding cards and an entire ABBA song are dedicated to this well known part of the wedding. However, the vow in both the Christian weddings I've been to this year has not been "I do", but "I will".
There's a significant difference there, when you consider what the person is promising at the moment - to love, to honour, to share a life. "I do" says "At this moment, this is what is true of my life, that I do love this person, honour this person, want to share a life with this person." It is a state of the present. But "I will" is a future tense, isn't it? It says "I am going to keep doing this, for the rest of my life, not just for as long as I feel like it."
I know I'm making a big thing out of a little difference, one that most people wouldn't even notice. But there is a difference between the world's view of marriage, and what a Christian marriage is. One is all about what is going to make you happy now, while the other is about loving one another in a way that reflects God's love - and that love is eternal and unwavering. There's much more that could be said on this topic, but I will leave that to those who know far more about love than I do :P
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
In Limbo
It's a strange feeling, but at the moment I feel like I'm in limbo, suspended between finishing university and starting full-time work. I'm just kind of floating around. There is nothing I have to do at the moment, and my mind doesn't really know how to cope with the lack of pressure.
I've started a multitude of creative projects, just to give myself something to do. Cause you discover very quickly that while the idea of having no commitments, no deadlines and no responsibilities sounds fantastic in theory, it actually gets rather tedious much quicker than you expect.
At the moment, in no particular order, I am:
- making a dress
- writing 2 books
- starting a new blogging project
- embroidering a tablecloth
- cleaning my room and study from top to bottom
These are things I would probably have only had as vague ideas unless I had so much time on my hands.
You know what the other things that really been filling up my day has been? Having a decent quiet time, of sitting and talking to God and just waiting on Him for answers. I always struggled with having a consistent quiet time while at uni. There was always so many things gathering to drag me back into the world. Phone buzzing, emails arriving, deadlines looming. And now... nothing. So, I plan to use this time to set a good habit that I can keep to once I start work in January.
I've started a multitude of creative projects, just to give myself something to do. Cause you discover very quickly that while the idea of having no commitments, no deadlines and no responsibilities sounds fantastic in theory, it actually gets rather tedious much quicker than you expect.
At the moment, in no particular order, I am:
- making a dress
- writing 2 books
- starting a new blogging project
- embroidering a tablecloth
- cleaning my room and study from top to bottom
These are things I would probably have only had as vague ideas unless I had so much time on my hands.
You know what the other things that really been filling up my day has been? Having a decent quiet time, of sitting and talking to God and just waiting on Him for answers. I always struggled with having a consistent quiet time while at uni. There was always so many things gathering to drag me back into the world. Phone buzzing, emails arriving, deadlines looming. And now... nothing. So, I plan to use this time to set a good habit that I can keep to once I start work in January.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Life Together
Author Note: This is my latest poetical effort, in honour of the fact that graduating uni and leaving behind the wonderful Christian family that are Student Life.
Life Together
Life together is in the taste of marshmallows all gooey in the centre and made smoky by the campfire at Heathcote; of bitter tea prepared by one of my sweet brothers at 3am after a long night in the drop-in centre; of rich chocolate consumed to excess in the giggling company of my dear sisters.
Life together is in the smell of tomatoes and fragrant herbs as Sam makes pasta sauce to feed hungry pray-ers (who have become more than slightly sick of pizza); of sunscreen and overheated plastic under the tarp of our stall at O-week; of the cold misty air that rises off Lake Hume mingling with the stubborn tinge of pancake residue that somehow still clings to my hair from a morning of cooking.
Life together is in the sight of two heads bent over a familiar little green booklet; of a smile of relief as a first year discovers that surveying isn’t that scary after all - and no, I didn’t die; of watching the majestic sun rise as we stand together wrapped in blankets on the beach at Lorne, bleary-eyed after only 2 hours sleep – or less.
Life together is in the sound of those familiar words – “Would you like to do a quick survey? There’s a free Chupa-chupa” – as we hope to find that one student who is curious to find out more; of crowds of hyperactive students screaming “Living on a Prayer” at the top of their lungs – just because it’s the last night of MYC and we can; of the whispers of a prayer in a quiet corner.
Life together is in the touch of a brother’s hand on my shoulder, wordlessly asking “Are you okay?” when I come into Weekly Meeting looking like death warmed up; of my sister’s arms around me as I lament the newest shadow to cross my life; of heads brushing as we huddle together to cry out in prayer.
Life together is in the feeling of overwhelming love and “rightness” of being amongst friends; of delight and freedom of being loved by grace, of the peace that transcends all understanding found in finally seeing where my heart’s true home lies.
Life together is in every memory made, every moment of joy celebrated, every heart changed and future transformed. Our friends, our family, our fellowship. Our Student Life.
Life Together
Life together is in the taste of marshmallows all gooey in the centre and made smoky by the campfire at Heathcote; of bitter tea prepared by one of my sweet brothers at 3am after a long night in the drop-in centre; of rich chocolate consumed to excess in the giggling company of my dear sisters.
Life together is in the smell of tomatoes and fragrant herbs as Sam makes pasta sauce to feed hungry pray-ers (who have become more than slightly sick of pizza); of sunscreen and overheated plastic under the tarp of our stall at O-week; of the cold misty air that rises off Lake Hume mingling with the stubborn tinge of pancake residue that somehow still clings to my hair from a morning of cooking.
Life together is in the sight of two heads bent over a familiar little green booklet; of a smile of relief as a first year discovers that surveying isn’t that scary after all - and no, I didn’t die; of watching the majestic sun rise as we stand together wrapped in blankets on the beach at Lorne, bleary-eyed after only 2 hours sleep – or less.
Life together is in the sound of those familiar words – “Would you like to do a quick survey? There’s a free Chupa-chupa” – as we hope to find that one student who is curious to find out more; of crowds of hyperactive students screaming “Living on a Prayer” at the top of their lungs – just because it’s the last night of MYC and we can; of the whispers of a prayer in a quiet corner.
Life together is in the touch of a brother’s hand on my shoulder, wordlessly asking “Are you okay?” when I come into Weekly Meeting looking like death warmed up; of my sister’s arms around me as I lament the newest shadow to cross my life; of heads brushing as we huddle together to cry out in prayer.
Life together is in the feeling of overwhelming love and “rightness” of being amongst friends; of delight and freedom of being loved by grace, of the peace that transcends all understanding found in finally seeing where my heart’s true home lies.
Life together is in every memory made, every moment of joy celebrated, every heart changed and future transformed. Our friends, our family, our fellowship. Our Student Life.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Exist. Together.
Sometimes just being together is enough.
I went to visit my best friend today. Just stopped over for 15 minutes on my way home, just because I could. We didn't talk much. We just sat and did the puzzles in the newspaper, and discussing crossword clues and which numbers went where in the kenken puzzle took up the majority of what we spoke about.
But sometimes, just doing something simple and not talking about it is enough, for the mere fact that you are together and you both know that words aren't really all that necessary. You've already said it all just by being there.
I went to visit my best friend today. Just stopped over for 15 minutes on my way home, just because I could. We didn't talk much. We just sat and did the puzzles in the newspaper, and discussing crossword clues and which numbers went where in the kenken puzzle took up the majority of what we spoke about.
But sometimes, just doing something simple and not talking about it is enough, for the mere fact that you are together and you both know that words aren't really all that necessary. You've already said it all just by being there.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Eating My Words
Just when I think I've understood something, and I post about it, it comes back to bite me. Last post I spoke about trusting Jesus, and I've realized this week how little I have been doing that.
This week has been a week of frustrations. Not only have I been sick, but a whole string of little things seem to be going wrong. Things that I need are missing from my paperwork, my email account was hacked, people won't answer their phones.... None of them are major crises, but added together, it all makes me want to scream. Or break things. Or both. [For those of you who know me in real life, this may surprise you, but I do have a nasty temper when I'm upset. Yes, I know, you probably can't imagine it. But I assure you the mild mannered Kitty you know is just a cover-up for the crazy one underneath.]
But anyway, back on topic. All this served to remind me not only how much I had failed to trust God with it, but how little I'd even been talking about it to Him. Last week I did a Bible study about Hannah, Samuel's mother in the book of 1 Samuel. She's a fairly cool lady, and I wish I was more like her.... She starts off the books a bit of a mess. She can't have kids and she's incredibly bitter and discontent with her life. Not unlike me (but to a much greater extent), she's frustrated that her life isn't working out the way she wants it to. But with the encouragement of her loving husband, instead of keeping all her feelings inside and letting them fester, she pours her heart out before God - with so much feeling that Eli thinks she's drunk!
God designed us with feelings. He doesn't expect us to carry the weight of our emotions on our own. We needs to be honest about our feelings, not only with each other, but most importantly with Him. Tell Him if your overflowing with joy and overwhelmed with sorrow or overwrought with anxiety. He listens. And He acts.
This week has been a week of frustrations. Not only have I been sick, but a whole string of little things seem to be going wrong. Things that I need are missing from my paperwork, my email account was hacked, people won't answer their phones.... None of them are major crises, but added together, it all makes me want to scream. Or break things. Or both. [For those of you who know me in real life, this may surprise you, but I do have a nasty temper when I'm upset. Yes, I know, you probably can't imagine it. But I assure you the mild mannered Kitty you know is just a cover-up for the crazy one underneath.]
But anyway, back on topic. All this served to remind me not only how much I had failed to trust God with it, but how little I'd even been talking about it to Him. Last week I did a Bible study about Hannah, Samuel's mother in the book of 1 Samuel. She's a fairly cool lady, and I wish I was more like her.... She starts off the books a bit of a mess. She can't have kids and she's incredibly bitter and discontent with her life. Not unlike me (but to a much greater extent), she's frustrated that her life isn't working out the way she wants it to. But with the encouragement of her loving husband, instead of keeping all her feelings inside and letting them fester, she pours her heart out before God - with so much feeling that Eli thinks she's drunk!
God designed us with feelings. He doesn't expect us to carry the weight of our emotions on our own. We needs to be honest about our feelings, not only with each other, but most importantly with Him. Tell Him if your overflowing with joy and overwhelmed with sorrow or overwrought with anxiety. He listens. And He acts.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Time After Time
It's been a while since my last post - 21 days to be exact. And how much has happened in that time!
I got an internship position for next year at a great hospital, which is such an amazing answer to my prayers and those of many of my friends who were kind enough to be praying about my employment for next year.
But getting a job has really confirmed for me that I will be graduating uni at the end of this year, and that my life is about to change dramatically. I've already been feeling the hints of maturity creeping in... A good friend is getting married in December, while I had the joy a few weeks ago of playing with the 9 month old son of one of my closest high school friends.
As I extricate myself from my wallowing in nostalgia, I will only add in closing that all that has happened in the past few weeks has served to remind me both of God's goodness and also his sovereignty. I was listening to an old hymn a few days ago, which begins " 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus". I can only say Amen to that.
I got an internship position for next year at a great hospital, which is such an amazing answer to my prayers and those of many of my friends who were kind enough to be praying about my employment for next year.
But getting a job has really confirmed for me that I will be graduating uni at the end of this year, and that my life is about to change dramatically. I've already been feeling the hints of maturity creeping in... A good friend is getting married in December, while I had the joy a few weeks ago of playing with the 9 month old son of one of my closest high school friends.
As I extricate myself from my wallowing in nostalgia, I will only add in closing that all that has happened in the past few weeks has served to remind me both of God's goodness and also his sovereignty. I was listening to an old hymn a few days ago, which begins " 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus". I can only say Amen to that.
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