Habit-forming

"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got til it's
gone..." (Big Yellow Taxi)

I've realised over the past couple of days what a creature of habit I am. But a bit of background first... A few days ago, I had my backpack stolen. In it, I had all the things a young woman who is a student normally carries around - purse, phone, USB stick, keys, diary - as well as my journal for reflecting on the time I spend with God and my Bible. Not to mention all my "little necessities" - lipstick, favourite pen, encouragement note from my bestie...

And it struck me today - not having all those things - how much I rely on "my things" to get through my day. I'm trying to study at the moment, and it was disconcerting - even distracting - trying to use borrowed pens. I let my lips bleed with the cold rather than put on a lip gloss that is not the one I like. But worst of all, I sit down to do my quiet time, with another Bible and without my journal, and my mind wanders and frets, because it's no longer my routine. And I wonder, when did I come to this?

I have a skill to re-learn, the art of just spending time with God. Not saying anything, not figuring anything out, but just being with God, dwelling in His presence. Letting Him be the balm to the cracks in my soul. Listening to what He wants to tell me.

It's going to be a worthwhile lesson.