Mind Games

It only struck me this weekend, how much what is going on in our head impacts our emotional and spiritual reality. In addition to trying to focus on being away on a camp and getting to know new people, encourage them and lead well, I had other scholastic and family stuff going on in the background, not to mention my turbulent relationship with God. And amongst all this stuff, my mind began to cave in under the pressure....

I'm probably going to talk about this a lot of the next little while, because it's an area I need to do a lot of exploring in myself.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

One of the problems with what goes on in our heads is just that - that it is all inside your head. And by that I do not mean you are making it up. That is not what I mean at all. What I'm talking about is that we often don't talk about the deep things that we are churning over in our minds. We bottle them up inside, feeding on the stress they produce and making ourselves sick emotionally and spiritually.

Talk to someone. Most importantly, talk to God - pray. I wasn't doing this - falling into the trap of assuming my problems were mine to deal and God was too busy, too good, too anything that would give me a reason to horde my problems up inside and try to fight my own battles. This is crazy!!! Not only does God ask up to hand over what's stressing us out to him, but he tells us why he does - not prove he's better or he wants something done in return but because he loves us. He loves you. And God is a lot bigger than you, so he will handle it. The solution may not be what you want or expect, but it will be the best in the long run if you persevere.

Also, talk to other people. Give them a chance to pray for you and to speak wisdom into your life. Or even to just be there for you. When I was falling to pieces, one of the Christian men I am friends with just came and sat with me. He didn't ask me much, and he didn't say a huge amount, he was just there. And that often silent companionship meant a lot more to me than having advice thrown at me, or being asked to dissect my feelings and thoughts. Talking can also be good though. In the aftermath, I spent a long time with my best friend just confessing all the things that were on my heart and mind, that I hadn't been sharing. And she gave me some useful insights from her own experience in what God has been teaching her. You don't need to share everything, but please find someone you trust, someone who will pray for you and let them know as much as you feel comfortable sharing. Believe me, it helps.

Get the problems out there people, cause the more you keep them inside, the more they fester and consume you. Don't do what I did and try and be happy and smiling when you're crying inside. The "stained glass masquerade" (if you don't know what I mean by that, go check out Casting Crowns - they're awesome) never helps anyone; not us, not our friends and family and not those around us, trying to find out who Jesus is and what being a Christian is all about.

Taking Control: A Metaphor

Just an - an interesting metaphor - that I saw yesterday and really spoke to me. I was walking past the little park on the way to Redfern and there were two dogs playing there - one a little puppy, the other much bigger. The bigger dog had a stick in his mouth and was standing still holding on to it, while the little one was jumping up, trying to grab the stick and pull it from the other dog. But no matter how hard the little one pulled and jumped, he could not make the bigger dog release the stick. All he was doing was knocking the stick around. And it just reminded me of God and us...

God has made us - created us - and he's in control of the whole universe and our lives. We can't change that, just like the little dog can't make the big dog release the stick, because we are not God. We don't have his power or his wisdom or anything else for that matter. But like the little dog, we want control - not of a stick, but of our lives. But our attempts to grab control of our lives and pull it away from God (what the Bible calls sin) are not only fruitless, but also serve to knock us about. I'm sure you've felt the effects of sin damaging your life.

So what's the alternative? Knowing Christ died to bring us into relationship with God again, we can sit back and rest in the safety that our lives are in the best hands possible. Learn to trust him with your life - your whole life. This is where I so often fall down. I'm happy to trust God with little bits of my life, but not the whole thing...

Then instead of fighting over the stick, through the peace-making death of Jesus, we can again have relationship with God and can have an awesome time being joyful about that!

Cross Dressing

This is taken from a sermon at my church recently, that I wanted to share with you. A few of the thoughts are my own, but most of them are from one of our awesome pastors, Mike Everett, who preached the sermon. The passage was Ephesians 4:17-32.

Because of the new life we have in Christ, we don't want to keep walking as the world walks. And this extends to the way we 'dress' ourselves - the attitudes and behaviours we put on each day. Being new creations in Christ, we should be 'dressing' in a way that reflects the cross (hence the title :P).

But the old clothes- the sinful habits - are very comfy, and everyone else around is 'wearing' them, and so we start to blend in, no longer reflecting the hope within us - our calling to Christ. It's a daily battle to choose to put on the 'Jesus suit' - the decision to imitate Christ in thought, word and deed.

And how do we do it? By 'engaging you brain' and paying attention to the choices you are making and by filling your mind with the gospel. We have to practise at choosing God's way, persevere even when it's not what we want to do and pray, because we can only do it in his strength.

On Love

I was talking to a friend on the phone today, who was not feeling great for various reasons. At the end of the conversation, she thanked me for listening and then said "Love you". And so I naturally responded "Love you too."

When I got off the phone, my sister immediately said "Who were you talking to?" I explained that I was talking to this particular friend. My sister then responded "Why did you say 'I love you'? I don't say that to my friends." I was a little lost for words, and I tried to explain it as best I could to her, but I don't think I did a great job, so after having a good think about it, here is my answer.

I said 'I love you' because it's true. I love my friends. I think the world has a painfully narrow definition of love - you either love people in your family (because they are your family) or you love your romantic partner. But somewhere in the middle, we've lost the love that we have for our friends, the one that seeks to serve them and want to best for them and let them know that we care. In Australia, we often refer to this as 'mateship', but I think that's just a euphemism for a society too scared to admit what it really feels. It's love.

Jesus called us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" and to "love your neighbour as yourself" (Matthew 22:37, 39). Now, I don't know about how you feel about yourself, but I usually want good things to come to me, and therefore if I'm going to obey God, this means wanting good for my friends - loving my friends. And if we can't love our friends, then how are we ever going to meet Jesus' challenge to love our enemies?

Whether you say it or not is up to you. I can only remember how, particularly when I am feeling down, it feels so special to know that someone loves you, not because they have to, but because they are your friend.

Inhibitions

Over the past 5 weeks, I have been doing an unpaid internship one morning a week at a local hospital. While this has been very exciting and I am sad that my stint there has come to an end, there's one thing I will miss more - the wait for the train afterward.

Let me give you some background. The hospital is close to a little station called Denistone, so small it is just two platforms and an unmanned office. I finish placement right in the middle of the day, so when I get to the station, it has always been completely deserted. So... you're sitting on a deserted train platform for 20 minutes with nothing to do. What do you do?

If you're anywhere near as crazy as me, you take this opportunity to sing whatever you want, as loud as want, because you can and no-one can hear you. I'm not a fantastic singer, so singing by myself in public is not something I would do by choice. But when I'm alone... it's so liberating to just be able to lift your voice to sing whatever you want, without anyone judging you, without your inhibitions of what others' might think weighing you down. For 20 minutes, it was freedom.

I'm going to miss Denistone Station.

Satisfactorily Single

I just realised that my last post was also about satisfaction. But I'm looking at a different area this time - relationships, rather than time.

Emily at Unfurling Flower did a post a day or two ago about why she was happy to be single. I thought I might add my two cents worth on this topic, because I really felt the truth of it that night. I was in the car with my younger sister, who is heading towards her first ever dating relationship, and she brought up my current romantic prospects.

At the moment, I'm not interested in any of the guys around me (sorry, boys :P) but more than that, I'm just not ready for a relationship. There's two key relationships I need to work on first, before I want to consider having a romantic relationship.

1. Relationship with God.
This is the most important relationship we are ever going to have, because it lasts for eternity. And even I (single as I am) know that if you don't have a firm basis in God, you're on shaky ground when it comes to weathering the storms of life. One thing that I'm continually amazed with about Jesus is that there is always more to be amazed at. I think C.S. Lewis captured it really well in the scene in Prince Caspian where Lucy meets Aslan again. She says to him "Aslan, you're bigger" and he replies "That's because you are." As we grow, normally the people around us seem to get smaller. But like Aslan, Jesus is the reverse of our expectations. The more mature we become as Christians, the more of Jesus we discover that astounds us and makes us fall deeper in love with him. And I guess that's the other part. Jesus has to be our first love, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I want my husband to love God more than he loves me, and for him to want me to put God above his own needs and wants. So relationship with God is critical.

2. Relationship with Self
This sounds a bit weird, but I think it is important. Being single is a great time to get to know yourself - who you are, your likes and dislikes, your talents and aspirations and dreams... One of my disciplers used to tell me how important it is to "be a good student of yourself" and I've come to see that. If you're not confident with who you are, what you can do and what you want in life, then how can you share yourself and a future with someone else?

I certainly haven't got all the answers to all these things yet, but I don't think I ever will... I'm not saying you need to have all the answers before you get married; just that you need to have enough of them to know with confidence who you are and more importantly who you are in Christ. But in the meantime, I'm having a lot of fun spending my singleness learning.