Can't Slow Down

The title of today's post comes from a piece on the Pride and Prejudice (2005) soundtrack, but I think it accurately represents a certain aspect of my life that amuses and confuses me.

The idea of being a workaholic has always seemed such a foreign concept to me, since I have always been a daydreamer who has always loved puzzles, books, arts and crafts... anything where I can easily spend a whole day doing not a lot really. But since I have started working (and working in health in particular perhaps) I have seen how easily I can fall into the trap of working too much. I've seen my arrival times at work get earlier, my leaving times get later, my breaks get shorter... One day, I almost forgot to have lunch because I was just so wrapped up in what I was doing.

It hasn't helped that I'm also studying part-time in addition to working full-time. I had a major exam last week, and so for an entire month before, I've been coming home and studying for 2-3 hours each night after working an 8 hour shift. But now the exam is over and I find myself unable to slow down and relax. My first night off, I found myself wandering from room to room, hoping something would come up to do, because I had no job, nothing I was working towards. It's strange, for someone who could formerly bludge a day away quite easily.

I don't know how to summarise all this, other than to say that I'm working towards a happy medium. I love working, but I don't want it to absorb my life. I love relaxing, but I also have things I've like to achieve. Not sure how I'll go walking that tightrope though.